Refugee of Paradise

Trying to find a way to worth living

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Saturday... it's a very utilized day... woke up early to rush for my class but ended up in the jam. I was only 10minutes late but still the class is alright. Got to know that we are having a japanese lunch after class next week.. Yuppie and also , my dance is cancelled next week so I can go for the lunch and not miss dance.

During the first 15minutes of dance I was very happy and able to perform the move with very good pecision but then ... suddenly my mind was filled with other things that I lost it totally ... I had been feeling it for sometime but not this time... so deep and unable to concentrate on my dance.. I felt sad about this and want to leave early but I cant , its very unprofessional to end your move like that based on your personal emotions... I got to bear with it .

I went to visit my aunt and it was the most unbearable thing it could happen to us... the sign of her radiotherapy had shown. She had lost most of her hair and I was just feeling hard not to shed a single tear and be happy infront of her. She could not know what happen due to her mental awarness but still I felt very emotional for her. I guess I had get used to visit her on a weekly basis as she is after all my aunt and now I do feel the need to .. It is very traumatized by it... sigh .... why her..

I going to work tomorrow morning and go out for a while in the afternoon to TST and later be at home ... I must be strong...

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