Oh. Nov is here and while we are in the mist of it, it got me thinking; Christmas is near and so is 2010. The thought of struggling to next year is rather awful as I will be a year older. Its kind of sad when you are stepping into the middle age life. No longer a youth, no longer someone who is green and learning. This gives me the shiver as I still feel young but should I be a bit older to truly reflect my age?

I felt happy with my life but still the thought of middle age is a tingy horrific. Looking in the past generations, 30s should have a family , married with kids but now .. we have nothing. Its something of a blessing which I dont know but its weird.

Aniwei I am still happy with what I have and will treasure it. This 2009 is a year where many major obstacles must be overcome and I hope will continue to perservere. But I am hopeful of my 2010 as I will have a new life with a new companion. Something which I am now , coming will not regret.

Oh.. its 2009 and 2 years had passed since I had pressed some buttons for this blog.

How is everyone? How is me? I had grown older and through course managed to gain someone important in my life. Someone who I am willing to leave everything for her.... Coming Oct 7th, its our 1st anniversary. We had been very good couples which adjust to each other lifestyle to create a life of our own... we created our own life and constantly looking over each other to ensure our life is happy.

Sept swept passed us with our wedding photos taken in Taipei, it was a labour intensive effort. Woke up at 6am and cramped in a car travelled almost across Taipei to get our most perfect scenes.... at the end... we are exhausted, the only tiring feeling is when I was in army.... totally sweated out and golden baked by the sun.. But after that, the remaining of the trip was relaxing and filled with joy. We do love that Hotspring hotel which we camped overnight, no crowd and total tranquility, its someone we look for after months of work work work work...

I need to prepare some meals during that important day.. proabably garlic prawn pasta and some soup... ending it with cakes from Zoe or Tresa's Festival

Last Sunday, my parents returned back to SG and looking at them... looking at me... They are older now and I look old... There had been alot of reflection of my life lately, thinking of my childhood ... thinking what I was 10 years ago... maybe I am in a transition stage of my life.. from young adult to a older prune.. Friends are getting married, planning to get married... we had reached a stage away from being taken care of... we need to take care of our family. I am glad that my parents are pre-occupied by my little nephew who is shy of 2 years old, with his photos I felt there is hope in life when I am in trouble.

I do felt happiness is something hard to find and often taken for granted. When I am unhappy, I look at my little nephew's photo they bring joy to my life... my little life as a middle age old man..

Changes... ... well undergoing a major change in my life or a major blow had landed upon me. I have to decided which path to go. I am tired and felt all my efforts are wasted. I am feeling that my career are in ruins.. I need to pick up and restart my goal and objective. This round was not part of my fault .. something I must remember and walk down the path.

Saturday is super cool as I managed to go for my japanese class and the class and me went for a simple japanese lunch. well 9 girls and me... haahaaa.. felt that I am the luckiest bloke in the world ? well the sudden downpour does dampened my mood and I returned home early for a dinner DIY style... simple dishes but does make a simple man satisfied.

Tomorrow packing up for a trip to manila...going to end my road trip... a finale... a last path ...

Well did not go to work today as I had this rash on my elbow ... rested well and also managed to drag my body to Admirality to get my HK license. T
oday weather is hot, steamy ... stuffy.. I could get myself kill by staying out for a while...So in the end I was at home in the late afternoon till dinner time..

went to aunt's house for meal..and now at home...under the comfort of air-con and being a part in warming up the earth by all those emission..oh well I cant care.. for now ...

Oh... my house does look cleaner and tidy. I had been cleaning it over the weekends, it does deserve a good clean as I was not in HK for the past weekends.

Maybe it is the heat that drove so many people to shopping malls today, I was in shatin and it is totally totally pack with mobs of familes having fun... but it's nice to see them having fun.

I begin to think that I like the feeling of tidness and also clean.. I like to have my clothes ironed and also clean the house.. am I getting strange? I am uncertain but maybe this house is becoming a part of me ... I am now the keeper of this little realm of mine. So I must uphold to my liking.. by making it nice and livable ...

Sunday.... day of rest and peace...Roll down to Harbour City to view the new ..enlongated...stretched..extended...new mini ..quite interesting...

One thing that is unbearable is the heat...gosh.. 34+ degrees under the HK urban environment... I could melt any minute under such situations.

Dinner was alright as I bought it from downstairs and was too involved with my work..

Looking back... I wish there were happier times... maybe a photo will remind me and make me simile....

Saturday... it's a very utilized day... woke up early to rush for my class but ended up in the jam. I was only 10minutes late but still the class is alright. Got to know that we are having a japanese lunch after class next week.. Yuppie and also , my dance is cancelled next week so I can go for the lunch and not miss dance.

During the first 15minutes of dance I was very happy and able to perform the move with very good pecision but then ... suddenly my mind was filled with other things that I lost it totally ... I had been feeling it for sometime but not this time... so deep and unable to concentrate on my dance.. I felt sad about this and want to leave early but I cant , its very unprofessional to end your move like that based on your personal emotions... I got to bear with it .

I went to visit my aunt and it was the most unbearable thing it could happen to us... the sign of her radiotherapy had shown. She had lost most of her hair and I was just feeling hard not to shed a single tear and be happy infront of her. She could not know what happen due to her mental awarness but still I felt very emotional for her. I guess I had get used to visit her on a weekly basis as she is after all my aunt and now I do feel the need to .. It is very traumatized by it... sigh .... why her..

I going to work tomorrow morning and go out for a while in the afternoon to TST and later be at home ... I must be strong...

Well... July..

I had been thinking ... what I had done over this month? well nothing much but the trip back to Singapore does make me feel happier as I am able to see my family and friends. I am now having a wonderfulous time in my Japanese class as I am able to bend into them as they are super friendly ... I decided to treat them nicely..

Looking back... a year ago, I was still in service in my blue uniform and seeing airplane taking off and landing.. but now I am at another place where to them National Service only happens in Taiwan. Well I guess this is another milestone that I managed to achieved. Did I brave the rain and storm? I am uncertain as so far things are still going quite smoothly..

I had fallen and also stand up and walk again, I know there are times where I am really sad thinking of the past memories of me and her but still I got to move ... I do hope she will have someone nice to look after her but still I guess she is now old enough to decide what is of the best interest for her.

Tomorrow I will be going for my dance and japanese lessons, maybe a trip to visit my aunt will round things up nicely. I guess from now on... walking alone and standing tall is something I must get used to ... Life must go on....