I do not know what had I did to make her avoid me. I just want to have more time with her as I enjoy her company. I just feel good with her...I had only met her for a week but inside me there is only her. I dont know why but I just want to have more time with her and see how things can develop.I ............... just I just like her... I made a wholly mistake by appearing at her concert despite her insistence that I should not go.. I .. I just want to be there for her when she need support... but left as I do not want her to use the effort and time to accompany me when this was her private moment with her friends......
I do not know what wrong I had did that I ended up like this. . . . . . We could have go blading on sunday and a nice dinner but that was a dream..a dream that only happen in my mind..never in my life... I felt the whole world is falling onto me..
I guess I was selfish being I , I , I all the time and do not ask her about me, does she enjoy the company? does she enjoy the things I did? Does she get bored after 3 hours of my talk? Did she felt repelled by my presence on sat? or any other day?? I just too concern about myself and not her....
In the wake of these incident, I do not think I can forget her. Sunday, I blade and blade and still my mind is all about her....Today after leaving work early, I went to run for 4K and swim for I do not know when.... I surface when I felt very comfortable floating lifelessly in the water with little breathing..Guess drowning was a comfortable way out.. I hope my weariness will make my mind shut off but, I cant.....I do not know why but she will always seems to be the one that give me some hope when others just give me the disappointed look...
it's been almost a year and half that I had this sort of feelings in me again.. I admit that during this period of time, there are chances for me to develop but the feeling refused to grow and kindly turn them down ..... I felt a sense of total failure in my life, this is not the first time but the other 2 times when I truly felt for someone... Am I not capable of loving someone? I often give it all but in the end, they just walk away never to give me a chance to explain...Do I have to resort to my fate and lead a lonely life...? ? ?
I shall not cry but nevertheless tears roll down my cheeks as I am someone who does not really give all to anyone in my walk of life and now I had focus on her and yet she is gone...
I am thankful for all the wonderful times you had shared with me and I hope you too enjoy it...
( I hope I do not cause any pain in you)
Sorry Gigi as I make you look bad and have to manage my selfish thoughts and that I did not give any thought about your feelings as friends......
I do not know what wrong I had did that I ended up like this. . . . . . We could have go blading on sunday and a nice dinner but that was a dream..a dream that only happen in my mind..never in my life... I felt the whole world is falling onto me..
I guess I was selfish being I , I , I all the time and do not ask her about me, does she enjoy the company? does she enjoy the things I did? Does she get bored after 3 hours of my talk? Did she felt repelled by my presence on sat? or any other day?? I just too concern about myself and not her....
In the wake of these incident, I do not think I can forget her. Sunday, I blade and blade and still my mind is all about her....Today after leaving work early, I went to run for 4K and swim for I do not know when.... I surface when I felt very comfortable floating lifelessly in the water with little breathing..Guess drowning was a comfortable way out.. I hope my weariness will make my mind shut off but, I cant.....I do not know why but she will always seems to be the one that give me some hope when others just give me the disappointed look...
it's been almost a year and half that I had this sort of feelings in me again.. I admit that during this period of time, there are chances for me to develop but the feeling refused to grow and kindly turn them down ..... I felt a sense of total failure in my life, this is not the first time but the other 2 times when I truly felt for someone... Am I not capable of loving someone? I often give it all but in the end, they just walk away never to give me a chance to explain...Do I have to resort to my fate and lead a lonely life...? ? ?
I shall not cry but nevertheless tears roll down my cheeks as I am someone who does not really give all to anyone in my walk of life and now I had focus on her and yet she is gone...
I am thankful for all the wonderful times you had shared with me and I hope you too enjoy it...
( I hope I do not cause any pain in you)
Sorry Gigi as I make you look bad and have to manage my selfish thoughts and that I did not give any thought about your feelings as friends......
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