Okie this is creepy..another worksite accidents...... geezzz... oh man......
I am not a religious person but do hope there are survivors....

Well boring afternoon, did not do anything useful at all..heeheehee.Planning on my holiday trip as still uncertain where I be going. Definitely have the air-tickets but just destination uncertain. Been reading the theory of evolution book it's quite interesting + a novel skin and bone, it's about love and unfaithful affairs. This is the 1st time I had been reading such novels......what a change...wednesday normal...tuesday class was quite eventful celebrated elaine's birthday and also ate quite a few chocolate stuff...want to go for the Japan Exchange Trip but.... I will be working during that period....gosh..

Well had a wonderful sunday, took a dip into the pool under the bright sun in the late morning. Went to watch Passion of Christ organised by a church. What do I think of the movie? well...emotional, I understand that Jesus had underwent alot of pain and suffering for us but....well I was thinking ..does the movie need to be so errmm ...show so much gore and blood...ummph aniwei, did nothing much but managed to borrow a book from the library. Theory of evolution..heehee.sounds boring but it does spur my interest

well today was a busy day: contractor came and fixed the window of my house, but I have to take down those alumimum grills.. which is easy heehee...and also clean up the dirt they created.I went to the gym today wow.... I did 4-5 rounds of my routine, then ran for 3KM which was normal..but I was super tired after that but I head for the pool...swam or struggle there for 45mins ...i swam very slowly or feeling super tired..only attribute to it was my gym work..nevermind..had pizza as dinner...not bad ...cheap deal get a pizza free when you order one..from pizza hut..but now I am in heaven feeling sooo happy....cos I am having Ben n Jerry's ice cream... okie I really like them and i swear by it..they can really make my worse day better ..... haahaaa.... oh well.... you got to try it.. it's better than Haagen Dazs as BnJ's flavour is more wild and not those boring chocolate or vanilla thing....got to try it.. :o)

Well...umph...usual..fair sky...tried to rain during the evenings but it din. Class was alright, andrea join today's class. Still feel that I have to spend more time on my japanese..ohh well so many things to do. So little time...

Got to unassemble the window grills tomorrow, should be able to hack it. Hope I will be still able to swim after the window repairs.

Friday, suppose to meet up with kelvin.That bloke yet to contact me, okie fine....just wait and see ..if not going to town to get some snacks...

Wednesday. Nothing happened. Managed to post out the information in the forum, and I hope it helps. Work alittle..went out after work had a nice dinner and work on my Pig and another one. Pamper myself with Ben and Jerry's icecream..yumm....also Waitrose chocolate icecream.....sinful but ...woooo....need that when i am stumped by my jap....

It was a bizzare day. After lesson I was supposed to meet sophia, but took the train in the wrong direction. Missed her friends then. Lesson was fun and good but today it's not a full class. I had received all my mail orders on monday. Friday was a parcel from Aust. Mon was one from Canada. Everything seems fine. I am quite amazed that my US$15 reach Canada in one piece despite I mail it as registered post. I am still skeptical that it will reach there. I do not feel the urge to go out this week, maybe I need some rest so tomorrow I will go home after work. I realised that I had sort of grown out of dawn issue, maybe this is due to the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. Today there was a massive accident along Nicoll Highway, sadly there were deaths but at a minimum level, it was not as big scale as what I thought when I listened to the news. They did say it collapsed so I pictured the bridge above Kallang River had give way but was also uncertain. Aniwei heard from established source that Circle Line is not a smooth project with delays and stuff (well..LTA say there is no schedule but...do we need to wait for 50 years?) guess it's another setback.

Today went to Jurong East HSBC to do some banking stuff.Super hot day.Messed up my name during the process ggeeezz ..Aniwei forget about the bad things.Went swimming today met up with Timo, but I really had a long long swim around 2 hours super happy. Out with Grace and Brenda (her sister) walk around accompany her to shop. There is this nice pizza at wisma..really nice..seen Hannah..well umph din expected that .went to Wanko to say hi to Grace, one of the friendly staff working there. :o) it's a beautiful day. but the best things, chocolate dessert at baker's inn..rich chocolate....amazingly thick...umphh wahhh... i admit i am a choclohic...heehee...

Well nothing special today. HAd a interesting class today. Aniwei Claire and Andrea just come and join mine for the time being. It seems that we interacted alot and aha ...Derrick is back..he is the manzz, 35 years old Airforce reg. He is a nice person to be with ..sat with him and we practise our japanese with much effort and energy. The class is without doubts more chatty then the other but when it's chatty we are about to learn..but some others may disagree anyway weekend is here..swimming pool here i coome!!

Anyway, went to jap class as usual but this time there are only 6 students. I presumed that the others are having exams that why. It was quite fun, eating sweets and stuff. heeeheee. Sense's birthday around Nov. did alot of conversation this time around and I think I did pretty well at spelling, only one character is misspelt. Saw a indian chap just lay there motionless on the carriage, just flat on the floor....with his bag of stuff at the other side, inside there is a bottle spilling out watery fluid. With the smell, I can only think it's alcohol.No one did anything to him, so guess where are the train marshals that claim to be instilled after the Madrid Bombing..umphhhh..aniwei seems that the public is still ill-prepared for any terror attack on MRT...ohh gosh...if this human-sized chap can just lay there happily and no one cares...umphh guess will anyone pay any notice on an innocent shopping bag abandoned on the train????

Well...what a night.. One of the F-15 make a vertical plunge to the floor....The forward fuselage is separated from the main, vertical stabliser is flung out....lucky the rest of the airframe is still intact. One of my beagle (F-15E) have it's ECM pod ripped off.
Damage assessment :
Beagle : Restick the ECM pod, sand it smooth and spray back the color.
F-15C : Will stick it back...see if there is any chipped paints, filled in the gaps and light overspray.

Thinking of the F-15C: It has a rather long history with me. It started it's life as a Hasegawa SP22 F-15E Dual Role Fighter, built with minimal skills and awful seams. Down the line, the forward side fuselage was deformed after some experiment.Stripped out the paint, plug in the front fuselage of the Fujimi's F-15A and a IAF F-15A with CFT. After looking at it ... it's a sore eye, so stripped the paint and rebuilt as a USAF F-15C, last mod.I was happy. But windscreen is in a awkard position, so reposition it. And now after this plunge, should I write it off?After all I got 4 more F-15s unbuilt.Better take the protrait of the 8 F-15s I have now before they also suffer the same fate. Shall reposition them.

Life of Hasegawa SP22 F-15E Dual Role Fighter:
F-15E Seymour Johnson AFB AF 87-182
Incidents : Front fuselage stricken off during a "night raid" , deformed during some freak accident.
F-15A Israeli Air Force S/N 678
Incidents : None
F-15C Eglin AFB AF 79-065
Incidents : Front fuselage stricken off twice during fall, windscreen repositioned.
What next?? Ideas : F-15D .....

Every plane has a story.......

Well..nothing much happened on weekends only ate alot with my parents. Saw danniel with his wife at taka..wooo danniel is going to have a daughter..so happy for them..happy family...heehee... nice feeling.Sunday went to swim..did not swim much as I did not eat my lunch and did not see timo ..perhaps the exam kept him from the water..a nice great weekend is passed... called up lay kim....wow it's been years years since I had talk to her...old secondary school friends ..talk alot...she is okie ....haahaa..planning for meetup with sophia and grace and her together this wednesday seee how........for dawn.? oh well...guess there is nothing much I can do to improve the situation..as she turn all my suggestion down.nothing at all..tough luck...I just got squashed......heart is broken but not shattered

Today had a good day.went to yum char with dad and auntie tong ...tongs had been with me since i was a kid so sort of watch me grown up. Went to sing K with phillippe, maggie, geo, connie. Sang alot of songs as they have very nice ones.Sang some funny ones..haa..then pool ..nothing much but we devour 33plates of sushi ..oohhohhoo....was superb fun!! met up with ken and mae for a while..not bad mae's shop had great sale ..she was super busy.....then home i go..

Okie..holiday mood is here...woohaa...still uncertain if I should join jasmine for church service tomorrow.Went to pick dad up at the airport.Yuppie...he bought back alot of magainzes....my only link to HK...aniwei I took some photo of the airport. Now since dad mention of holdiays, I guess I should plan my backpacking trip to Australia, I think I will seek refuge at Keith's place and start off from there.Who will go with me? Good question ...sigh ...it's hard cos not everyone is free or willing at that time before uni starts. I guess for better or worse I will go alone ... Lonely wanderer....come on ..rather go for a adventure alone then regret of not going when you are old....

Oh. well nothing in particular. Only there is official work YUPPIUEEE !! must be insane that I had longed for things to do. went for the meeting not bad..quite useful. KoonWang tot me Totoise Subversion quite okie, as I had know the program last week.Went home for dinner... nothing much had happened. Watch No Man's Land, it's a artistic french show...not bad ..quite meaningful.... tomorrow last day of work..going to fetch pop.

Today..nothing much happened. Had a really fun time in jap class Yan's birthday is tomorrow. Happy birthday. :o) the class is very friendly. Exchange sweets with them felt so relax.I did my homework and well
everything was okie. met up with sophia talk to her about dawn. yeah..dawn.call her then got turned down like a smack in the face...ohhh well......... what can i say?

Oh dad called the F-111A only cost HK$90..that is SUPER Cheap...ask him to get me one ..and a F-18E Superhornet..also super cheap..Hong Kong land of cheap stuff... heee

Today, monday wahhh did nothing as my sup is too busy or have lost the memory that I had existed. Learn about JAva.. not much . Finally suddenly doomsday just seems to be alittle bit further from me, I had regain the link sms Dawn and she replied, so far so good.well continue to sms for a while. Good good good...signs of relief shows on my face and the atmosphere get lightened up. She is busy this week and can only meet up with me next week. I understand. been munching on the muji mashmallows all day..tomorrow will bring other stuff... after work went to citylink as I wan to get a file for Dawn to hold her japanese notes.Went to Print, there is a few to choose from. I like the Fabric file cost around $30 but the color is too plain.... the one with paper backing have nice designs but it's paper..then there is this Finland plasitc file with a big flower on it..look to loud and kiddish..i did not know ...see what I can think of when the week arrives.. Had dinner with Andrea, well teach her japanese as she did not went to the whole of last week class..had a nice chat with her...suddenly the week seems better....

Did not do much today. Went swimming the the mid noon after CSI, it was not a interesting epidose..rather normal. Swam for a long time till my shoulder blade hurts. I guess the reason for my long swim is I keep pondering.......about Dawn, what are the possibilities of hitting off with her with regards to the sorry situation I am in with her now. I cannot help but keep swimming with hopes that my tirness will give my mind time to breathe. I had wrote her a e-mail telling her what I am feeling now, does that works? I had yet to send it as I am still embracing some hope that she will contact me.I guess the turning point will happen over these few days, I will despatch that mail and just hope there is some sort of response from her.Disappointment or what I do not mind as I had suffer such fate countless times, I had learnt to cry without tears.

Well today super suck went to campus super early to see my future FYP sup, he looks okie..so bernard and i chose his project.....Hope it's good. Went home and do alittle of stuff then went out with mum to yum char. did not do much but... I did a silly thing in my life!!! waht ? aniwei went to bugis get some sweets from muji with intention of heading down to Funan to find dawn and pass her those stuff..but after walking past the store for 3 times no avail....sigh ..dumb luck ...walk around not there..then went back to bugis....gigi was cutting hair with her friend...hair style ain bad...her friend really make guy's head turn..ME? well I was too confused too deep in my mind..Where is dawn???!?!?? want to call her but deep inside my mind, i know she will not answer my call..so WAT's the point then? I do not know.. I am confused....call her in the end ...well as expected no answer.....after say bye to gigi and xue jing...fly down to sim lim...dawn is not there...ohh well I am feeling very very tired and sick...sick means really physically not okie...think going to see doctor with regards to my postal hypertension....blood pressure problem again.... sigh ... i do not know..why ...why do the sky rains on me......tomorrow going to swim

Talked to Sophia, my secondary school buddy.Well talked about Dawn, she say i should be more optimistic that it is a good start.I do not know but still feeling the hiccups. I still think I had screw it up. Nevertheless... I do not know will contact her again on sunday.. I really really wish there is some headway... Sigh..today japanese was boring ..it's not cos of the sensei but the class... DEAD People are everywhere... aniwei tomorrow sat better enjoy... the sun .. haircut...

Felt miserable today, do not know why. Something inside me is trying to get out by tearing me apart. I must regain control, I cannot believe I had reach this stage where I cannot control my emotions, I will not give any excuse for such queer behaviour.Tomorrow after going to school I will hit the track and burn a couple of miles and also a couple of laps in the pool, make me tired...... a tired man cannot think..... cannot think of his problems.. let his mind rest while his body get tired.

Oh. today had a horrible task of change a simple 2 paragraph of my log book 5 times!!! I do not know why jie was so picky, I understand that my paragraph do not convey the message correctly or does not deliver the idea accurately. It's my log book, I was thinking it was for my personal use so the normal rules in writing had been relaxed..ohh well.....sigh ... my sup came and visit me. Same as usual, he do not understand what I am doing for my attachment..ohh well..he is a nice chap but ...in someways lacking.

Went to ikea with jasmine as she need to get a new pair of trainers. Addias Superstar pinkish color..kinda of cute on her legs. Had dinner with her and talk about life...relaxing... tomorrow is friday, it's weekend yesh. I think I will bring the camera to take a photo with Sense Fujii....as it's my last lesson.

I did not contact dawn today. I do not know why, I wish I can talk to her..but then ..sigh... tomorrow I will call her and if possible crash into her activities...gezzzzz.....that is mad.....will ask her if she is interested in kayaking course held on the 17th. I know she is expert in it..but ...who knows... Keith that nice chap is leaving for UK tomorrow, shugzz..did not manage to know him well.Aniwei all the best in his car parts venture...at least he got the guts to try....ken..well only blah blah blah.....

Ohh why I am in here?The feeling of frustration, anger, sadness, failure, despair is starting to show on my face. I do not know but for a moment such attributes just seep out of me. I can no longer contain them as they had outgrown me. For once they are in control of myself. I am no longer a man I am used to be.How I wish things will be just alittle bit easiler..but it isnt. Is it me who is not able to adapt to this environment? I do not know , I maybe never knows. I had a life of pain and sorrow but no one knows as I do not protray them in my life. My life is filled with things that people do not know and do not understand. I only beg for someone to understand me better. To know how I feels...but I guess this will never happens. I always believe deep inside a happy man there is this deep big scar that no one ever knows execpt him. Life is sad but I got to live on.Escape from reality.... I must ....